I have been in a relationship with my boyfriend for 2.5 years. Within this period of time we have had only one fight. We tend to communicate very well how we are feeling and we have an understanding of the reasons for each of our ways. Yet, there are instances that we disagree. Within these instances we both hold the role of dominance and we practice competitive symmetry. We are very stubborn in our ways and reasons for making certain decisions. Yes, couples do encounter instances where these roles can cause a damper on a relationship. In cases like these communication is key. If you can be willing to express your stance in a mature way as well as listen to your partner express his/her side then you have a greater chance of decreasing the tension that arises. The same goes for the other dysfunctional patterns that can cause strain between couples.
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Kolby,
ReplyDeleteCompetitive symmetry can be a difficult thing to overcome for any couple. My Fiancé and I had the same problem when we were first dating. It's usually all or nothing. Think of it as arguing with no end in sight. If both parties both seek after the dominant role, it will never end, at least not end well.
I agree that communication is the key. In my experience, as the male in the relationship, picking your battles is essential. I have learned over the years that some discussions are not worth pursuing the dominant role. This is something that needs to be discussed and understood with couples to eliminate the negative impacts of competitive symmetry.